1
You identify and look at the rocks and geology rather than the flesh
when watching R rated movies! (2)
2.
Your partner comments that your Erotica is misplaced in the rock
tumbler.
3.
You pull into every new road cut you see.
4.
Your sap runs higher when you stroke a well polished slab or sexy
rock rather than a person! (2)
5.
Vacation topics with friends are built around the rocks you brought
home.
6.
The house foundation has taken a slope to it for the weight of your
rock display.
7.
You can pronounce“molybdenite” correctly on the first try.
8.
Your bald head is often compared to Ayers rock.
9.
Speaking of polished and enlarged things. Lesters belt buckle is six
inches across. (2)
10.
You have asked your local rock store to open a Drive-Through Window!
11.
When New Ager’s dangle their crystal, you begin to salivate.
12.
You have a permanent bucket with tools in the trunk of your car.
13.
You have a bumper sticker saying. “I brake for rocks.”
14.
Your PC screen saver features pictures or rocks.
14.
You dating plan is to wait and hit on someone at the rock show.
15.
Your pockets or washing machine always have pebbles or rocks in
them.
16.
You have rolled
a boulder down the hill,
trying to bounce it into the bed of your pickup
(2) My friend Dumpster, Not me!
17.You
went to a rock festival thinking it was selling rocks.
18.At
Halloween you give out rocks.
19.At
the
golf course you
apologize every time your ball hits a boulder
20.Your
flower garden is replaced with a rock garden or Zen pebble garden.
21.You
give rocks, tumblers, or rock picks for Christmas.
22.You have ever been kicked out of a rockery for propositioning
the inhabitants!
23. You
belong to a rock club that uses rocks for center-pieces for the
Christmas dinner.
24. You use your rock
pick for
personal hygiene!
25. You
go purchasing things at the Home Depot just to get another nice bucket.
26.When
your friends say they're going to Tucson, you assume it'll be in
February.
27. You think freaks of nature like druzzi
are
things to bring home and cherish!
28. Worse
yet you believe a Druzzi refers to a religious cult.
29.For
501(c)(3
)tax
purposes you suggested to your club that it becomes a rock worshiping
Church. "Church of Sweet Geodes,"
The club treasurer didn't agree.
30.You
evaluate your employees on the Mhos scale.
31. You named
your children
Jewel,Metallica,
Obsidian, Grit,
Opal or Beryl.
32. Your passenger seat is more often filled with rock
samples instead
of a date!
33. If on that date you begin your conversation as being an expert on “chalcedony.”.
34. You invite your date for a roll in the quarry,
which turns out to be very
chippy indeed!
35. Worse yet you compliment her on her boulder
sized
figure.
36. You can
find Quartzite on a map in less than five minutes.
37. Your
bookshelf holds more rocks than books.
38. You stand waiting by the sign that reads. "WATCH FOR FALLING ROCK."
39. If your wife opens the dishwasher and yells your name. .
Turns out that I was 71
proof. Those of you scoring above 40% seriously consider the
Rockaholic s Getaway. My next challenge.
Out of some 85 points I scored high
enough to be 75 proof..
0-25 proof (suggestions?)
25-60 proof—(suggestions?)
70-proof--You
are a proud and deserving recipient of myTerminal Rockaholic
award"You need salvation or a burial in an amethyst
crypt. I did ask my daughter to start saving up for
one.
You may also be a candidate for my Pacific-Rimica's Rockers Group.
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40. You view your potential mate as how
well he or
she can motivate the wheelbarrow!
41.
You invite your In-laws to help
rock hunt in rattlesnake country
42.In
your
divorce the custody battle is about the
children. Chalcedony,
Grit and
Obsidian!
43. Divorce, when mentioned to your lawyer is referred to as cleavaging.
44. Part of the problem being … she calls you Igneous,worse
yet Sedimentary.
45.Regarding
#41. You forgot to bring your snake bite
kit along.
46. You come
home from the lapidary saw smelling like
oil. Your wife adds the Vinegar.
47. Worse yet you begin enjoying the
smell of the oil!
48.On
a trip to Europe, you're the only member who
looks at the cathedral walls with a pocket magnifier.
49.Regarding
that rock filed bookshelf – most of the
books are on rocks.
50.
If you know and really
can pronounce “chalcedony”correctly
51.The
first thing you pack for your vacation is a
chisel and a hammer, making plane travel difficult and Homeland
Security nervous.
52. Manicurist exclaims”Why honey chile, Ah neva done seen humpbacked and gritty
calluses like these.”Whatever do you eva do!”
53. Grit,
Obsidian and Chalcedony rebel
and report you for child abuse for
their names.
54. You have begun to name the rocks you own. Victor
for one.
55. You consider Rock
Maps
deep thrill reading.
56. You compliment your partner’s polish
and sheen.
57. You
hang around heavy rock
sat
the Rock
Shop hoping
to snag a hunk
58. You sign your cards with
conglomerately yours
instead of sincerely or love.
59. When your wife
stops calling you a "coach potato" and refers to you as sedimentary
porphory.
60.Campho-Pheque,
Ben Gay and Momentum are your drugs of choice.
61.
Your kayak partner is left behind when you collect a 5 gallon stash
of beach agates.
62.
You examine the rocks in driveways or at the airport landscaping.
63
Your car has been a stranger to your garage for years.
64. Airport
security gives you an extra going over the
underwear
cushioned stones that scan as grenades. (2) True story.
65.
The bagage and ticket handlers remember you and refuse to take your luggage.
65.
When you are told that you had to have a landfill permit should you
store any MORE rocks on your property.
66.
Field trips have been held on your property.
67.
Les Schwab exclaims that they have never seen such a
tread separation as on my one-ton Toyota. "What the heck did you put in
it?" Refer back to #16. True story.
68.
Words like tumbling or vibratory turn out to be more used in the
garage than in the bedroom.
69.
You suggest to the hotel management that their aquarium rocks
should be upgraded with sparky quartz or better. (true story)
70.
Your on-line back statement chart of expenses show that
rock purchases have now exceeded the food purchases.
71.
Your date asks if you prefer dogs or cats and you respond-- "I have
a pet rock."
72.
You then ask her if you could put a backpack on her dog.
73.
You have created a rock and mineral base on your computer.
74.
The computer has a mineral or rock hounding screen
saver.
75.
You treat your rock saw like a classic car and wax it
every month.
76.
Refering to #37 The books on that bookshelf are mostly on rocks.
77.
When a furniture leg breaks off you have a rock big enough to
replace it.
If you
have any more additions please contact
me.
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